Ramblings on deep seated anger....

She keeps telling me "How can you say I anger issues or whatever? Look at all these friends I have and how much they love me".

If that determines it, she has no idea how much love I have from the friends I have made through this board and the true, even unconditional love from some that was never expected. If you are regarded by your friends, I consider myself beyond fortunate and thankful.

In the meantime, her ENTIRE apartment is filled with quotes like this:

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

“The labor of women in the house, certainly, enables men to produce more wealth than they otherwise could; and in this way women are economic factors in society. But so are horses.” - Charlotte P. Gillman

"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."
~ enjamin Franklin

And that's ONLY the beginning. She truly HATES men. She's an absolute celibate feminist.

And I'm me. So you can imagine that eventually, something would erupt.

Oh, and until I said "STOP", she continually pointed out that my father doesn't love me because he's incapable of love and he enslaved her for 28 years and blah blah blah...". I may argue with my Dad. But I KNOW he loves me. And he doesn't condescend and treat me like child. My mother I know loves me. But I don't know as what.

And of course, the main reason I'm back in Westwood. Just let me SULK people. I was just yanked out of my incredible social life and love, put in bed, and said "don't move for 6 weeks". Yeah...

/rant.

When I left, she just smiled and said I can come back whenever I please, I always have a home, etc...ALL with a smile. She keeps herself more locked up inside than maybe I ever did. Does she even CARE that I'm leaving? I don't know. I wonder if she'll miss me. I wonder if she will ever consider herself NOT perfect. And maybe address the anger issues.

I remember driving and saying "Mom, Daddy sort of has a neurological disorder and you're hostile to him". "I AM NOT HOSTILE" was the answer. Um, sure. Thankfully, my Dad thinks she is being nice because he doesn't read the absoluet spite she spews out at him.

I think I'll be writing a lot more that I don't have a therapist.