My new Catharsis

I guess is writing. You got a better idea?

My therapist called me. Fair enough - I called her about 20 times last night (her phone was on vibrate b/c she had an important thing to do at 6 a.m. - TOTALLY acceptable, I am not, nor should I be her first priority).

She had apparently spoken with my mother first, who simply commented on my selfish behavior and my rudeness and after ALL she'd done for me. HOW I could live with my father, she doesn't know, after all, why would I want to live with HIM when I could live with HER, the perfect mother?

Yeah. At least I can be alone and have emotions here. That's nice, ya know. To be able to cry and have someone hug you and not just say "You're being dramatic".

So my therapist and I talked - first thing to do is see the "local" family therapist. Get through this. Etc...

My mother is also insanely jealous and hurt that I'm "choosing" my father over her. Great. Then maybe don't be such a wannabe Stepford wife bitch. Yes, I'm angry.

We just spoke, and I cried, and nothing new (for all you new readers out there) was said, except that my mother is hurt and is not acknowledging the concept of emotion at all. It's a stone wall there.

Oh, and did you know painkillers can affect your mood? Apparently with MY personality, it's er...not so fantastic. In case no one got that as of recent.

Plan of action:

Call Ron. Set appointment.
Sleep.
Sleep.
Cry.
Sleep.
Maybe Eat.
Sleep.

Tomorrow, I might see a movie with my Dad and Barbara.

Barbara is: A woman who lives with us who my father would like to marry but she doesn't like him that way. However, she lives in our house anyway when she's renting her condo out in Santa Monica. I don't get it. But I like her anyway, and she's VERY nice to have around.

In addition to 4 tenants. Oh, and my father. See why my Mother's condo has its pros? But it comes with HER, which for right now, is definitely a con.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your opinion) suicide has been taken off the list, so you all have to deal with me.

However, I was born two days AFTER the last legal day for my abortion, and sometimes, I think my parents would be SO much happier if they'd just had Ari, the perfect child. He really is. He's nice, he gives them no trouble, has a GREAT heart. We have our own tiffs, but he's rather excellent, I must say.

I just hate the pain. God bless tranquilizers.