Fine Out Who Your Friends Are...

Well, nothing like country music to hit the emotional target point of the day.



I'm definitely having a self-pity day. They're not too common these days. I try to keep myself upbeat, keep busy. I just woke up...

I can't believe I had to remind people I had surgeries. I mean, seriously? I had to ask people if they would visit me. See me. Shira. They're "friend". But nope. They still haven't called to see when would be a good time, or if I'd like a latte, or maybe they can take me to a movie. Nope. Nothing.

Barb accidentally texted me (intended for someone else): "Shira had her surgery yesterday. Can you imagine 2 major cosmetic surgeries in 4 months?"

Um, they happened. And they aren't just cosmetic, dammit. It's skin removal. I might look normal now.

So I have to wonder, is this why people are creeping out of my life? Barbara, Michelle, Rachelle? Is my place no longer warranted? I mean, is this about my suddenly looking good, being able to be pretty and not just the fat friend? I hate to make it that superficial, but I've read so much about it, and so many people report about it, that I can't help but question and wonder.

I admit, I've been a bit of a broken record. Surgery this, weight that, food this. I'm obsessed, I know. But it's all I've HAD in the last few months. I used to have a life in New York, and now I'm feeling very lonely in Los Angeles. VERY lonely.

I just want someone to care for me they way I care for others. 10 days after my bypass I was driving Michelle around because she had a broken ankle. I'll be there for anyone.

But will anyone ever be here for me?