Nerd.

So, I'm watching/listening John Hodgman wax poetic about nerdiness and other things at the Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner. I definitely fall into the "nerd" category. And I'm usually okay with that. I really take my dorkiness and like it.

However, tonight reminded me...of when I dislike it. Some people could mix that up with the term "stuck up bitch", for the evening.

Quick premise - a girl I went to high school with who brings "diva" to life, is going to Israel for a few months. Whoop de doo. She had a going away party (probably still going on) at a karaoke bar in Los Angeles. I wouldn't have gone except my friend Michelle felt she had an obligation to attend and asked if I would go with her. Ended up being her and some others of the "old crowd" in attendance.

I don't think I've been so miserable in a long time. Sure, I got up and sang "Don't Stop Believing" on request with the others. I let Michelle lead me in swing dancing. But frankly, I would have rather been clawing someone's eyes out. Maybe it was just the atmosphere (oh look, people I don't know with people I could give two shits about, except for 4, who I prefer to spend time with...NOT in this atmosphere), or maybe I'm PMS-ing, or maybe I just needed to eat. Either way, I am not happy.

And what makes it all the more interesting is how much I dislike myself for disliking tonight's events. I feel like I should like it. And when I get unhappy, especially in places like this, my over-intelligized pretentiousness comes out in a conversation like this, with some guy who came with a guy I used to know in high school.

Guy (to me and others): All the girls are outside taking a picture, if you wanted to go.
Me: Oh, thank you, but I'm not a girl, I'm a lady.
...5 seconds later
Me: Sorry, I just usually have to pinpoint something interesting, it continues the conversation, if you will.
Guy (highly annoyed): You shouldn't categorize yourself like that.

Yeah. I miss the people with whom I could have hours of conversation based solely on the social context of "girl" versus "lady". I realize that it is not a "NY vs. LA" thing, but a "dive bar vs. lounge" or "tacky/white trash vs. sophistication", or something like that. I've been known to be in a dive bar and enjoy myself, but god, I hated tonight. I didn't even drink, I was that miserable. Jesus.